I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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