There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
