no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
honey bunches of taint.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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