Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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