dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
