drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
