i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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