I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
zippers are such a cool invention
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
