..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
