my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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