i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
