it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i drank out of a bidet.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I am one with the molecules
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Randomize
