Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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