Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
