I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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