Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
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Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
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Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
i need some magic done to my vagina
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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