porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
