Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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