mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
