If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just forgot I was standing up.
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