you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
