i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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