it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
