Where did you get a picture of my penis
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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