Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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