hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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