4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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