Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
