Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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