No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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