I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize