I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
