Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
