So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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