Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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