I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
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Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
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I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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