are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
