Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
