Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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