you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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