Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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