this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
It was confusing and full of hummus
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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