he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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