I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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