I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
