PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
