she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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