I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
