like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
