I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
