I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
