Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
