Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize