Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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