Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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