3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
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