So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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