physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
