its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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