so that wasnt chicken after all
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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