I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
