What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
