I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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