3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize